Incompetent
by Invader Sah
Summary: Really, how many detective's had to be thoroughly humiliated before they got the hint? It wasn't that anyone was incompetent - it was that no one was as competent as Kid. One-shot, no actual pairings, OC used for humiliation purpouses


_Just a random little one-shot I wrote up, after realizing just how many people show up, seeming to be under the impression __**they**__ can catch Kid, only to be humiliated and then never show up again._

_Kid must be really annoyed with these people by now. Especially since they have a habit of insulting __**his**__ task force._

_So, just a silly something or other. OOC? /care_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Detective Conan...That'd mean I own Magic Kaitou. And if I owned Magic Kaitou, it would be continued by now. Oh, but I do own Cady, just fyi! He's a random OC detective I invented for the purpose of this fan fiction. Maybe he'll appear again. Y'know - as 'that guy' who's just there for comedy relief and plot development**

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"Who...are _you_?" Never before had three words sounded so absolutely _insulting_; no more was needed to fill him with fury as he rounded on the speaker. Only to blink rapidly when his eyes crashed with cool, disdainful indigo that gazed deep into his own startled green. With a startled yelp the detective staggered backwards, bewildered as to how the other had gotten so close without alerting him.

Seemingly unaffected by the others surprise the white garbed thief frowned, beginning to circle him with narrowed eyes. "You're not Nakamori." He declared, cape billowing behind him as he walked, monocle catching the moonlight and glinting eerily. "You're not Hakuba either - he wouldn't be caught _dead_ in such atrocious clothing. And you're definitely not Kudou, since you're more then a couple feet to tall."

"_Excuse_ me!?" He shrieked, thoroughly infuriated by by 'atrocious' clothing statement. "I don't think you have any right to talk about _style_!" The detective snarled; this earned him a raised eyebrow as the thief - _the_ thief, this had to be him, the one everyone was talking about.

"Well _pardon me_, not-tantei-kun." Kaitou Kid - that had to be who it was, the top hat and the monocle and arrogant posture pointed to that answer - drawled, raising up to his full height. "Since you're not Nakamori, or Hakuba, or Kudo, that means...you're one of _them_."

"One of _them_?" Cady inquired, not taking his eyes of the infamous thief for a second; though a little thrown off by how unexpectedly un-welcoming the other was, he wasn't about to forget his goal. To capture the thief that had been plaguing Japan for so long.

Kaitou finally stopped circling him, instead propping one hand on his hip, the other hand hooking in his pocket. "One of _them_. An outsider - a full of himself detective who's under the impression that everyone else is incompetent, and _he_ has the skill required to capture me. As if I'd allow such a thing!" The thief laughed, and suddenly his criticizing look was gone. Instead he looked merely amused, eyes sparkling with good humor, lips quirked into a cocky smirk.

"You can't imagine how many of you I've seen! You watch the news, hear my name, and hear how I've become an enigma no one can figure out!" Kid chirped, sauntering across the room to the case where that night's jewel sat. However, he stopped a couple feet short, back to Cady, arms hooked behind his head now.

"You figure, 'Hey, how can catching one stupid thief _really_ be that difficult?'. You tell yourself that I'm really not _that_ good - that everyone else is just incompetent! That surely _you_ would be able to catch me in no time, because you're _so_ much better then them, obviously." As much as the words were clearly _mocking_ him, there was no actual mockery in the magician's voice.

"They _are_ incompetent!" Cady interrupted, pride successfully stabbed. There was no way he was going to let this no-good thief continue to taunt him like that! "Especially that Nakamori and his Task force! They've been chasing you for _how_ many years!? More then enough, and they haven't even come _close_ to catching you!" He spat; Kaitou paused, then spun around to face the detective, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, and _you_ have?" He drawled, cocking one hip in obvious defiance. "And they have come close! Several times in fact! Honestly, _why_ does everybody keep overlooking this? Sure, they haven't actually caught me _yet_, but hell, they've had me sweating more then once!" He stated snobbishly; and Cady couldn't help but notice how almost..._defensive_ the thief was about his task force.

"You're _one_ thief! They're a massive _group_ of police! And yet they can't seem to capable of keeping a hold on you! I think they're just all a group of idiots." Cady announced, folding his arms and scowling darkly.

There was a long silence. For a split second the Kid's smirk faltered, and there was the briefest glint of anger in his eyes. But then it was gone, replaced once more by his charming smile. "And yet, you don't see _them_ letting me get this close to the precious gem."

Cady blinked, just noticing that the thief was standing only a couple feet away. Instantly he lunged forward, placing himself between Kaito and the case. "Obviously they have, or you wouldn't have been able to steal anything!" He snapped, mentally kicking himself for letting the other get so close like that.

Seeming back in his good mood, Kaitou Kid merely laughed. "Oh, yes, of course. Anyway, let's continue, shall we? After you insult my task force...oh, you've already done that...alright, then, I'll reveal I've already stolen the gem, then disappear. You'll return home, or maybe you'll stick around for another go, and the gem will turn up tomorrow in Hakuba's morning coffee." The thief finished his monologue with a flourish of one hand, then gave a bow to an imaginary audience.

"Like hell! You're not getting anywhere _near_ that gem!" Cady snarled; to this Kaito blinked, clearly surprised at the exclamation.

"Really? Odd....What's this then?" Without further adu the thief reached into his pocket and withdrew the emerald green gem; Cady blinked once. Then blinked twice. Then blinked once again, just to make sure he had already done that. Then he fumed, then he sputtered, then he shouted some random obscenity just as Kaito dropped the smoke bomb.

In an explosion of pink smoke the thief was gone, leaving the detective to stand there cursing at thin air.

The next morning, as predicted, the gem turned up in Hakuba's coffee. Though not predicted by Kid, but expected by Hakuba, a note also turned up in Hakuba's bagel; it was only due to his paranoia created by the thief's habit of hiding things in his breakfast that the detective didn't eat part of the note.

Instead, the paper was retrieved from the bagel with minimal damage. The message was short, sweet, and became the main cause for all Detective Cady's future teasing - as well as the three other detective's most prominently involved with the thief.

_'To my beloved tantei's -  
Please __do have the decency to stop sending rookies  
after me! It's rather insulting; not to mention they're never  
__nearly as competent as you!  
Sincerely,  
Your favourite thief,  
Kaitou Kid - doodle'_

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_Just so you know, Kid also has a habit of hiding things in Hakuba's lunch, dinner, supper, and afternoon tea._

_R&R!_


End file.
